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Friday, December 3, 2021

Supervised contact with children is state-imposed parental alienation

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At the heart of our family law system is a thriving multi-million dollar business that is a classic example of how women’s advocacy groups have sewn up our justice system and made the lives of many men hell.

Child contact services have been designed to provide controlled access between children and dangerous parents for a good and valid reason.

There are parents, both men and women, who put their children at risk, and it makes sense to establish supervision so that children can see these parents without harming them. But controlled contact in some places has transformed into state-imposed alienation of parents, with the result that contact centers bring to life the idea that their father is dangerous.

Essentially, the system is for the judiciary to evade verification. So, for example, whenever a domestic violence or sexual assault charge comes up in family court, the decision-makers in the court system make supervised contact because they know that if they don’t, something will happen. with the baby, they will be hung to dry.

But false accusations of violence and abuse have now become a tactic used by partners in family law battles. Some angry women have used it to kick their partner out of the house on the basis of a simple accusation.

Usually these dads don’t see their kids for months, but maybe even years.

Epoch Times Photos
A false accusation could irreparably damage the relationship with his children. (fizkes / Shutterstock)

After all, when they are “allowed” access to their children, they inevitably end up in the grip of a controlled contact system, paying through clenched teeth to have strangers track and report on their conversations with their children. This process is very effective in destroying children’s relationships with their fathers.

Imagine being a part of your kids’ daily life, reading bedtime stories to them, messing around on the lawn, making pancakes for Sunday breakfast. One false accusation is enough, and you face months, if not years, when you are treated like a dangerous criminal who is never allowed to approach them.

After all, the court system “permits” your first supervised visit. Then, finally, you are in the same room with your children, you can finally see them, talk to them. But this intense experience is fraught with a number of painful humiliations. Here are some real-life examples of how fathers are treated:

One child greeted his dad in the center, saying, “You’re not going to hit me, dad?” Later, the child explained to dad that his mother told him to say this, but the observer who heard the conversation refused to report it.

Fathers are asked not to be nervous. “Steve was unable to contain his emotions as he said goodbye to the children, despite instructions from a supervisor,” was the entry included in the account of one father.

The father’s suggestion to throw the soccer ball with his son led the warden to give the boy a safe word to use if he felt threatened.

The father asked to take his 4-year-old child to the toilet, but found that it was noted on the report as if it was an ominous request.

Epoch Times Photos
Epoch Times Photos
A father reads to his twin daughters at his home in Berlin, Germany on August 31, 2010 (Sean Gallup / Getty Images)

So it goes on. But, of course, this is not always the case. Some centers treat fathers well and have individual mentors who do their best to ensure that every man is treated fairly.

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But even government-sponsored services run by some of the big players like Relationships Australia create horror stories, and many consultants in these organizations take a decidedly anti-masculine approach.

In addition, there are large private businesses that benefit from long waiting lists for state-sponsored centers – six months to a year grace period – and charge horrendous amounts of money to rob people.

We’re talking $ 300-400 ($ 216-288) per session, more for popular weekend locations, easily adding over $ 20,000 ($ 14,400) over two years of contact visits. Plus, there are travel costs, some men have to travel for many hours to get to their destination.

This is a critical moment. Too often, dads have no choice about which center to choose – that decision depends on a relationship and negotiation between their former partner’s lawyer and local registrars.

As a result, the evil woman has any number of cards she can play to ensure that the contact system destroys what’s left of her ex-partner’s relationship with his children.

A father who is granted controlled contact may also find that he is being treated as if there is a black mark against him for subsequent decisions about appropriate parenting conditions and as leverage in settling property relations.

The situation is even worse for someone who falls out of controlled contact, even if they cannot afford to continue. This is seen as a lack of commitment to their children.

“Narcissists cannot have controlled access,” commented one expert.

Epoch Times Photos
Epoch Times Photos
A father and daughter walk downtown in Berlin, Germany on July 17, 2012 (Sean Gallup / Getty Images)

Child contact services were designed to move towards possibly self-managing parenting, but that just isn’t happening. Instead, most people simply drop out.

It’s insane to read the official literature of what’s going on here, in which school dropout is attributed to mental illness, substance abuse, or “deep-seated parental conflict” (pdf).

Not a word about the fact that most of the fathers who have undergone this humiliating process are not dangerous.

I made a video about this shameful case – talking to lawyer Michael José, who has worked for over 25 years to overcome prejudice against men.

We strive to find ways to make change, starting with tips for fathers to help them avoid controlled exposure.

More men and their lawyers need to actively resist controlled contact by offering alternative proposals for managing conflict and organizing safe transmission. Men who are not given a choice should provide the best possible service options in their area.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times.

Bettina Arndt

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Bettina Arndt is an Australian writer and social commentator on gender issues. She was the country’s first sex therapist and feminist before focusing on men’s rights. Arndt has authored several books and has written articles for major newspapers and magazines, and appears regularly on television. She received the Order of Australia in 2020 for her work to advance gender equality through advocacy for men. Find her online at her blog BettinaArndt.substack.com.

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