Have you ever found yourself doing something that should make you happy, and suddenly you feel sad? Sometimes, we stake everything on certain practices, people or lifestyle which end up making us unhappy.
Some experiences are as frustrating as they are pleasure-seeking. Many would say that it’s all because of the self-help culture that assures us that our mission in life is none other than to find maximum well-being, constant joy, and an indelible smile. However, hasn’t man always tried this? Seek pleasure and avoid pain?
We are neurologically programmed for that purpose. However, in this endeavor it is common to fall more than once, to step on banana peels and to stumble on the same stones that hurt us. Be that as it may, it is possible that the pursuit of happiness is a trap, a vicious circle in which the more one works towards that goal, the more it eludes us.
The problem is that sometimes when we engage in activities, relationships, or experiences that are supposed to bring us well-being, we suddenly feel discouraged, embarrassed, or uncomfortable. we look around us and tell ourselves what’s “But what am I doing in this place?” This experience has a name and it is worth delving into.
Well-being and happiness are very complex entities that don’t adhere to any standard, no matter how hard we try.
boomerang effect of happiness
You prepare a birthday party for one of your children with all the excitement in the world and when the day comes, you are heartbroken. Woe to the kids who grow up too soon. You spend the day helping your parents with their move and when you arrive, they insist that you leave. You didn’t need to move because they could do it on their own.
There are many everyday situations that bring us goodness and yet, they leave us with a tinge of frustration. The boomerang effect of happiness defines those realities into which one throws oneself in the hope of experiencing fulfillment, and what life brings back is disappointment, frustration, and even unhappiness., We could give a thousand examples of these experiences, because we have all had them.
As we well know, what science stresses is that the practice of gratitude, as well as the practice of helping others, feed back on our happiness. Work done at Adolfo Ibanez University in Chile highlights this link with one’s own quality of life. However, at present, experts insist on one detail. The practices we call positive don’t always bring us happiness.
Sometimes, practices like gratitude or helping others can bring us unexpected situations that bring frustration or confusion. But that is why we should give up these works.
when the positive turns negative
Sonja Kongomirski, a professor at the University of California at Riverside and one of the greatest references in the field of positive psychology, delves into the concept of the boomerang effect of happiness. So, what this indicates to us is that most of us have a very standardized concept and idea of positive activities.
Sharing time with friends, expressing gratitude, helping someone, enjoying free time or even falling in love are situations that maximize well-being and bring us happiness. Furthermore, if there is one thing we strive for as human beings, it is to foster positive situations and activities in our day to day.
Now, there’s an underlying fact that we almost never pay attention to. People do not have control over every reality and event, there is always that chaotic variable that can come back to us at a given moment in the way we expect.
it’s like a throwback boomerangObviously 99% of the cases will come back to us. But sometimes, a treacherous wind or breeze can change its course and hit us… What we call positive experiences, sometimes, are not so much.
happiness is not the rule of three
we are all affected boomerang Countless times in my own skin. Some people try their best to get a job and when they get it, they find an oppressive working environment and conditions. There are people who go out of their way to make certain people happy because they love them, but what they get back is selfishness and misery.
Sooner or later we learn that happiness is not a recipe, rule of thumb, or instruction manual. What works for some only brings emotional suffering and panic to others. What seems destructive to some, we find exciting. And sometimes fate plays dice with us and casts down our house of happiness.
Humans are bound to accept that quota of uncertainty and chaos that can change everything. Even then, We cannot give up on that aspiration, despite the uncomfortable variables of uncertainty. Attainment of prosperity and welfare.
live, take care of yourself, happiness will embrace you
Viktor Frankl rightly said that happiness is like a butterfly. The more we search for it, the more it eludes us. However, sometimes, it’s enough to stay still to settle down on us. That’s the key. Also understand We cannot succumb to every disappointment, failure or twist of fate.
the effect of boomerang What happiness tells us is that these aversive effects allow us to better adjust our expectations to seek well-being in the appropriate places. It’s not about giving up, it’s simply about knowing what activities, relationships, and lifestyles we should or shouldn’t choose.
Ultimately, Authentic happiness is nothing more than psychological well-being, it is being good with yourself and with those who surround you. In this process you have to work on many aspects, accept mistakes, fall and accept disappointments. No one is happy throwing themselves randomly towards some experiences, you have to reflect, meditate and choose well what you do and who you have in your life.
Last but not the least, let’s accept the unpredictability of life and as much as we would like to, we cannot control everything around us. Existence is complex, almost as complex as man himself. Let us assume that the chaotic component.
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